July 14, 2014

I would like to find a church to go to.  The church that I attended for over 20 years closed.  The pastor shut the doors and that was that.  It was awful to say the least.  The pastor that closed the doors had taken over for the original pastor and she wreaked a lot of havoc in a lot of people's lives that to this day some are still trying to get through.  The worst was the children didn't understand and grieved over the loss for quite some time. Most of them went there from the time that they were born. I saw it coming but couldn't do anything to stop it, the building belonged to her and our hands were tied.  It sits empty now with grass grown over the parking lot and looking terrible.  It was kept really nice for all of those years and now.......nothing.  Maybe we put too much stock into this person, we all knew something was not quite right but wanted our food pantry, clothing panty, youth group, tent meetings, Christmas Toy Drives, Easter play, to go on forever.  I did anyway.  Where am I supposed to go now?  I've tried several other churches and none of them are what we had.  The small group of 3 families that still hang out together would like to have our own building, but there is no way we can afford an extra payment.  I pray something comes along that will help us.  We are always looking for direction and hope it comes soon.  It's been almost five years since the doors closed and I still find myself crying over it now and again.  It was the reason that I moved to Missouri, it was where I met my husband.  It was pretty awesome in its time.  Faith is hard to find these days, but I haven't stopped looking.  I just wish I knew why this had to happen this way?  There may never be an answer, that I will have to accept, but in the mean time, I will keep looking.